When you’re a freshman, you feel small. There are so many of your “peers” doing so many adult-like things. You hear things.
“Hey, do you want to go out after school?”
“Naw man, I work.”
“Let’s go out tonight.
I treat, you drive?”
“Working? Driving? I’m in high school, and those are things my parents do!”
High school isn’t as tough as it sounds if you’re surfaced. A surfaced high school student doesn’t dig deep and over think. You’ll find that “being surfaced” is actually a pretty great way to get through high school, with a price.
Do you think a lot? How great are you at living? Can you put down your phone for more than ten minutes? Can you look at the moon and stars for hours without tweeting about its beauty?
High school isn’t exactly like the movies. In the shooting of a high school film, a director simply writes from the eyes of teenagers.
This is the truth about high school: You probably won’t get beat up and shoved into a locker and left to suffocate. The worst kind of physical contact is likely to be a shoulder shove in the hallway, which really isn’t anything to take personally. If you’re quiet, kids will not make snide remarks at you in class. Unless you leave it laying around, your belongings won’t get stolen. Your books won’t get slapped out of your hands. You won’t be thrown off a table and into a trash can, although you might be told to move.
If you aren’t a surfaced human being, this is what it will feel like: You will suffocate from the paranoia of judgement from your peers. A shove on the shoulder will make you feel inferior in all aspects. When you answer a question in class, your peers won’t say “nerd,” but you will imagine the words “show-off” and “annoying” popping up in your classmates’ heads. You’ll feel like school has stripped you of your identity. You’ll feel subjugated. You don’t have to, but you will feel the need to fit in: to wear the shoes half the school is wearing, to join the sports your friends are in, to get the grades your classmates have.
I’ll be honest: You’ll feel stupid. You’ll feel out of place. Some teachers are great, but others are not. The math homework will feel impossible; it’ll be annoying. That English essay is fine, but as you read it over and over, all you can think are the words “generic”. Your parents will still ask for your help at home. You won’t get enough sleep. You’ll waste time on your social media sites like Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook because “likes” and “Favorites” make you feel good about yourself, and at this age, where else do you find self-esteem?
You’ll spend time trying impress the pretty kids, be it subtle or blatant. You’ll watch your grades fall. You’ll act cool with it, but years later, you’ll see how much your parents have to pay for college because you “didn’t feel like” doing that work that could’ve earned you a better scholarship. You’ll be dying to make your life appear interesting, and IT WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH.
At this age, in order to cope, you will have to love yourself. It’s hard, right? How do I love myself when no one else finds me lovable?
Here’s a little something about myself: I grew up on an island about 32 miles long and 8 miles wide. Population? 200,000. I’m probably related to half of them. This world has nearly 8 billion people, and I’m going to judge how lovable I am from people who all live within 32 miles? Will these people be going into your grave with you? No.
You’re worth loving. It’s tough, okay, it is. In high school, if you spend time alone, you’re regarded as a freak. So what? Chances are if you work hard enough, you’ll be out of that place in a few years, and all the people who have regarded you as a freak? You won’t even remember their name. You are stuck with you for the rest of your life, so grow. Love. Nurture. Excel. You deserve it.